I was chatting with a friend recently as to why women struggle so much with boundaries. I’m not saying that all women have this challenge, but a good many of us do. I know that I wrestle with internal and external boundaries. The response that I offered my friend is that women are nurturers. We take care of everyone first, and sometimes to our detriment. It can be a struggle, and we feel guilty when we set limits of accepted behavior from others. Establishing boundaries in any relationship – personal and professional – are forms of self-care. You are informing others that you value yourself, and certain types of behaviors aren’t acceptable.
However, some of us (raises hand) haven’t set or don’t know how to set limits for ourselves. Ouch! I’m not talking about how much we spend or eat. The limits that come to mind for me is how much access I give to people. This could be placing my phone on “Do Not Disturb” when I’m not feeling social. Totally disconnecting from social media is a big one for me. I have to confess that a few years ago (before my husband’s stroke) I spent a great deal of time on Instagram. I preferred it to Facebook! Now, when it gets to be too much, I limit my time on it. I even set-up boundaries by using keywords so that there was certain content that I didn’t want to see in my feed.
So, how do boundaries tie into your business, Tina? Well, let me tell you. I set boundaries with contracts. Boundaries are set during client informational calls. I want my clients to be totally informed before hiring me, and I also want them to respect me.
Boundaries also help me to acknowledge that I am honoring my self-worth. I’m not putting myself second or even dead last. I’m loving me first.
Have you set any boundaries for yourself? Have you found it a challenge to set boundaries with others? Don’t beat yourself over the head if you haven’t. It’s a learning process. Be gentle with yourself and give yourself some grace!
Take care,
Tina
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