A Total Stranger

Every year, I plan a Birthday Photo Shoot.  Just like last year, I wasn’t 100% sure that I would sit for a portrait, but I knew that Cliff would encourage me to complete the portrait.  He would tell me that he shouldn’t be the reason for the portrait not to happen.  So, I made my plans.  Originally, there was going to be one look, but I decided to purchase a t-shirt of one of my favorite artists, Billy Joel.  The shirt that I chose was of his “The Stranger” album, and it was selected because I am a stranger to myself.  I don’t know the woman that I am now because she isn’t the same as the woman of April 6, 2024.  She changed on April 7 at 5:33 PM CST – the moment that I lost Cliff.

It’s so odd. My name is the same, but my personality has changed.  My smile isn’t in my eyes any longer.  There’s so much that’s different about me now.  I’m on a journey to find out who I am without my husband, and it will be a life-long event.  As my mother-in-law put it, I have to find out who I want to be when I grow up.

One thing that I am committed to doing is honoring this journey.  How can I support women through their journeys if I’m not doing the same for me?  With that in mind, I pushed through this session and will continue to document my journey.  I’ll continue to give myself grace, and to take life moment by moment.  Here’s to getting to know this “Total Stranger”.